It can’t be just me: 90 Day Review

Tomorrow morning is my 90 Day Review and when I tell you I am somehow both calm and stressed!

Of my past jobs only one ever performed a 90 Day Review and it was only because I negotiated it in my interview to discuss my salary down the line. In this instance, however, it’s mandated by H.R. and so…here I am in limbo.

Do I think I’ve performed well? Well, the beacon of confidence in my psyche says, “yes” while the workaholic with toxic work-life balance says, “we could have done more”. Then there’s the rational part saying, “you’ve done fine and if not you’ll be told how to improve on Monday”.

Whether these worries stem from imposter syndrome, fear of failing so early in a potential career or not managing to meet expectations- I know I shouldn’t overthink it. As such I’m taking measures this weekend to keep myself occupied…Let’s see how it goes!

artist: @artoshtu

Motion Sickness vs. the Mountain

I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I am extremely prone to motion sickness. I’m talking- I ride one roller coaster and I’m out of sorts the rest of the day, rocking boats are my kryptonite, and I usually have to drive or else I get sick (yes I have given myself motion sickness while driving).

Now you probably read that and thought, “this person should never drive up a mountain”. Well…you may be right.

Last week I had a work appointment nearly two hours into the mountains and made the precarious decision to carpool with a coworker. Did I drive? I think we all know the answer to that, but it needs to be known I survived the way up! Now the way down…not so lucky. I was pretty much out of commission the rest of the day and had to ask my partner to pick me up from work.

I have to say though, worst of all was I took medicine both before we drove up AND before we drove back down…There’s just no winning.

In a twist of events I have another work appointment today which thankfully isn’t up in the mountains and I’ll be driving myself.

Wish me luck (I probably need it).

Photo by Wes Hicks on Unsplash

Results Are In: Back to Work I Go

Guess who’s test results came in today and were negative?!

That’s right! Me.

This means two things: a) I’m full time again {praise the gods} & b) I’m required to go into the office starting Monday.

While I am beyond grateful for remaining employed during all this and getting full time again…I’m a bit concerned about going back. I mean, as of now I’m the only one in the company who’s been tested meanwhile everyone else has been required to go into work like normal.

Back in March when I was first put on ‘work from home’ notice it made more sense since I’d just returned from Washington state and my area wasn’t on lock down yet. Fast forward almost two months though and we’re in an entirely different realm now. So for them to still have everyone coming in is…jarring? Bonkers? Confusing?

It’s strange how before my results came in I was looking at it from the perspective of: well, I don’t want to put anyone at risk; but now my perspective has become: aren’t they putting the entire staff- including themselves at risk by having everyone come in to such a small space?

Wary that I might be a bit biased, I spoke to my father and partner to get their opinions. My father was particularly annoyed, saying it didn’t make sense to have me be the only one tested under guise of “not knowing who I’ve been around” when the same could easily be said for the other employees. My partner also agreed, but added I should wear a mask into work.

So at the end of day there really is only one question: am I planning on going back into the office?

The answer? Of course I am because I need full time hours. Is the job something I could realistically continue to do from home? Yes and the past several weeks have proven that, but they want me in the office so into the office I go.

Photo by Damir Kopezhanov on Unsplash

Back to Work: Getting Tested

It’s finally happened.

After roughly a month and half spent working just over half-time from home; my boss’s boss has agreed to let me back full time! All I have to do is get tested for COVID-19 and show proof of a negative result. Easy enough, right? Well luckily I was able to both find a place willing to test asymptomatic subjects and schedule an appointment pretty quickly.

Fast forward to this morning and I was on the road for my swab test where things started to feel…pretty surreal as soon as I made it to the grounds.

So, my testing location was at a public park refitted for drive-thru testing. The moment you entered you were met with army personnel who instructed us to place our driver’s license and confirmation number on our dashboard. Once done we were allowed to join a single lane queue through the park. Eventually we hit the first checkpoint where more army personnel verified our names and appointments before writing “R” on the corner of our windshields. From there we continued along with personnel scattered about directing flow of traffic until we reached a big tent. Only about three cars were allowed underneath at a time where pairs of army and medical personnel were waiting. Here we put our cars in park while the pair determined our names, located our medical kits, each verified it, and then placed it under a windshield wiper. Next was the final checkpoint which consisted of three smaller tents. I was directed to the middle one where an army professional took my medical kit and read it over before checking if my phone number was accurate. After confirming, I was allowed to pull up a bit where a medical professional in full protective gear motioned me to park and roll down my window. They handed me a form explaining how to obtain my results then told me to sit back against the seat and look straight ahead.

For anyone who doesn’t know: the swab goes up your nose. And when I tell you I’ve never experienced anything like it…I’m not lying. It wasn’t necessarily a sharp pain, but it wasn’t a dull pain either which was mind boggling to me because I needed it to make up it’s mind. My eye was watering; I actually had to close my eyes at one point just to brace for it to be over, and when they took it out I kind of coughed/sputtered even. All around I’d just say it was pretty unpleasant (since I have no way to really describe it) and understandably so.

What made me feel bad was when they apologized for my (probably wild) reaction, meanwhile I just wanted to say, “No, thank you for testing me! Ignore me! I’d do it again!” Did I say this? Unfortunately, no. Instead I sort of laughed out of bewilderment which made them laugh a bit, so I’ve got that going for me.

Truthfully though, the most stressful part aside from securing an appointment was easily the forty minute drive there and back which is practically nothing. When it comes to things feeling surreal; however, it definitely had to do with all the army personnel. I mean, besides the maybe fifteen medical professionals I spotted- the rest were all army. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I just don’t think I’ve ever seen so many in one place not on a base (if that makes sense).

Everything ran super smoothly though. My appointment slot was 8:30. I arrived close to 8 and was on my way home closer to 9. Now I just have to wait a few days for my results and hope I’ll be able to work full time again.

Photo by vadim kaipov on Unsplash

Working from Home: Back to the Cave!

What. A. Day.

Where do I even begin on this…? I guess we’ll take it back twenty four hours when I got the amazing news that: my hours were being bumped up by four (I’m truly happy and not being sarcastic); my company is buying out my contract thus making me permanent; AND starting today I was allowed back in the office!

Side Note: I’d been working at home for almost three weeks at this point since returning from Washington State mid March.

Needless to say I was PUMPED this morning. I might have been a little slow to rise, but once I was up I kicked it into high gear. I put on some work clothes, took my cat to his veterinary appointment, then went off to work with my box of supplies and everything. When I got there my coworkers welcomed me back and caught me up to speed with the organized chaos which had become my desk. I met with one of head bosses to get an update on my employment; made sure my pay wouldn’t be taking a cut, then filled out the I-9 and W-4. I was able to fall right back in the groove while clearing the build up on my desk…the day was just flying by and I was feeling not only super productive, but also had peace of mind at being outside my house for a bit.

Then the other shoe dropped.

Without giving out too many details I’ll sum it up by saying the other head boss noticed my presence and immediately took issue with it. Within twenty minutes of him spotting me I was dismissed for the day to work from home until…who really knows. I said okay, let the other head boss know, then said my goodbyes before heading back on home.

Do I understand the concern? Of course I do which is why I wasn’t trying to plant my feet and say “I feel fine and should be allowed to stay“. Have I already quarantined for well past the recommended fourteen days? Yes. Has anyone who lives with me shown any symptoms? No. Does any of that really matter? I don’t necessarily think so.

Things are hectic right now and to me it would not only be selfish to argue, but unnecessary since I already have everything I need to work from home. If anything I think I was just kind of bewildered by the situation because of the spike in tension when I thought it had been a communal decision.

Weeelp. Back to working from home and listening to deep dive videos on YouTube!

Artist: oshtu

End of a Chapter

Well, guys…it’s happened. After almost a year and a half at my first job post university- my boss called me into his office to inform me he was closing the business.

Honestly, I can’t say I’m surprised.

Working for a start-up comes with certain risks and I was fortunately in a position where I could see the shifts happening in advance. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t already spruced up my resume on job platforms earlier in the same week.

In the end I was second to last to receive the news. As soon he finished the sentence my first thoughts were truly about my coworkers. The sales reps all have families, the specialist lives on his own and had definitely gotten used a used to a certain pay scale…meanwhile I’m still living at home.

This was my first time in a situation like this. Ideally, I would of started making moves at the first blatant red flag and maybe already have a job opportunity lined up which just isn’t the case this time around (20/20 hindsight, am I right?).


Now I don’t want to deter anyone from working at a start up because I really do think it’s worth it for a lot of reasons- especially when you’re fresh on the job scene.

After digging through the posts of my old (now deleted) blog, I found the original post I made about working at a start up:

Here’s my advice to anyone fresh into the job search process: don’t rule out start ups.

It’s crazy, I know. The whole start up idea seems to be synonymous with ‘entrepreneur’ and while yeah- there’s obviously an entrepreneur involved…that doesn’t mean it has to be you.

Let me explain. I don’t want to bore anyone with an analysis of the pros and cons of a startup versus an established company, so I’ll focus on what I’ve personally learned and experienced:

~No Bureaucracy.
~You’re new! You have loads of questions and with a general ‘open door policy’ you don’t ever really feel intimidated- even if you’re asking the BOSS BOSS.
~The systems are still being ironed out and since you’re working with them, you can give feedback or suggestions that will actually be taken into account.
~You wear a lot of hats and I mean, A LOT
.

Like I said, the systems aren’t set in stone yet, so you’ll probably be taking on a lot which means you’re going to gain just as much experience. Sure- it might not have been the exact thing you went to university for, but it’ll definitely be a nice edge in your next interview.

I was always the type who wanted to work for a big name company or at least one that was fully established for some sense of security, but after being in a startup I’m really not that worried. I already get paid more than I ever have and get a 90 day review for a raise.

Now I know what you’re thinking: What if the company tanks or you get fired?!

Yep. That’s a possibility, but layoffs happen all the time nowadays in established companies and out of nowhere. Besides, if I do find myself back on the job market I’m confident in my newly earned credentials and it pays to be adaptable. So don’t rule it out guys!!!


Strangely, rereading something I wrote so long ago that directly relates to what I’m going through now is…kind of surreal. I mean, I even had the foresight to address if the company tanked!

I’m grateful for everything I learned at the company, all in all; and will be looking forward to what the next chapter brings.

(Plus my boss was kind enough to pay us for a full 40 hour week which means I’ll be getting one more full pay check!)

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Unplanned Vacation turned Stress Pot

It has been SIX days since I last worked.

At first it was awesome to get a break from work considering our next official day off wasn’t going to be until Memorial Day (27th of May). I tell you, I was over the moon when I woke up and read that text saying the building was out of working order. It gave me the chance to unwind, start a new show, work on the site, start writing again, finish my EPIK application… I even got my nails done today and I haven’t done that in probably a year? Maybe longer?

Anyway, this vacation has been all well and good, but since day three there’s been one thing on my mind:

I’m probably not getting paid for this. In fact, I’m definitely not getting paid for this.

Luckily I still live at home, so I’m not stressing over rent or anything like that. My credit card is paid off so I’m enjoying a $0 balance right now and I know for sure I have enough to cover my phone bill…I have to admit it’s times like this when I’m so glad/grateful I was able to pay the first six months of my car insurance upfront.

I guess now that I’ve written it all down the main things I’m worried about are being able to reach my savings goals/not having to dip into my savings and that the company I work for might shut down permanently. And I know the answer is to just start looking for another job once I know for sure, but let’s be real: I was super lucky to get hired right out of college and I’m not sure if I’m trying to test that again.

…In other news, my boss text me today to see if I would do some work from home tomorrow and that means I. AM. BACK IN THE GAME.

(all from the comfort of my own home and pajamas)