Tying the Knot: Looking Back

One week has passed since my wedding ceremony and I can honestly say…it hits different. 

Did I cry? Nope. Neither myself nor my husband cried (likely because we legally wed in July). Interestingly, it wasn’t until I left my mom’s rental the following night that I got misty eyed. Something about leaving my family to head home, knowing they were flying out in the morning…everything suddenly felt cemented. There I was at twenty-six having hit all the old school “milestones of adulthood” and it was a cluster of emotions. 

There was certainly joy. 

I was happy so many friends and family were able to be part of it with us. I was happy people had a great time. I was happy to be culturally married- if that’s the right way to describe it. I was happy nothing went awry…. 

At the same time though, I was sad.  

Sad in realizing the roots I’d laid down states away from family and friends were now anchored. Sad in the sense I’d closed out a life stage and was now closer to my most imminent fear- death.  

Thankfully, my partner was chatting with me on the phone for most of the drive which helped keep it together.     

These last several days have been a blur thanks to me going right back to work, but I’m hoping this weekend will get me back on track rest wise. 

Photo by My Mother

P.S. If anyone reading this attended the wedding- I want to thank you for coming and I apologize if you experienced altitude sickness!

Let’s Dance

Prompt: In my earliest memories of dancing, I’m under my auntie Nancy’s dining room table, (which had been pushed off to the side of the room), watching my mom, dad, aunties, and uncles all dancing on the hardwood floor to a never-ending stack of 45 records, dropping one after the other. I remember foot-high stacks of 45s all around the record player. The song that I remember playing most? Twistin’ the Night Away by Sam Cooke. Every time I hear that song, I remember auntie’s spontaneous dance parties. What are your earliest and fondest memories of dance?

Ooooh, this one is too easy.


Picture it. My father’s living room. 2000.

Last year’s Carnival plays on the TV with Soca music blasting. I’m in one corner of the room, Trinidadian flag in hand, waiting for my cue to choreography my father only knows after seeing me do it countless times. My cue comes and I immediately fall in step. The song? Dust Dem by Kurt Allen.

To this day, Dust Dem is still one of my favorite Soca songs and will actually play during my Father-Daughter dance. Will my original choreography get a revival..? I can neither confirm nor deny.

artist: @artoshtu

A Year in the Making

As of today I officially relocated from my home state one year ago.

A goal of nearly fourteen years and three hundred sixty-five days ago, I achieved it. Not to study abroad or go on a internship, but without an estimated return date or ticket in hand.

At the time I was so consumed with logistics and saying goodbyes I barely had time to process. I mean, we had less than ninety days from when we received notice of our move to when we needed to step on the plane. I was excited for the next chapter though and jumped right in.

When my mom came to visit in January she said this would be one of my biggest years and looking back…I can’t say I disagree.

In this past year I:

  • Moved in with just my partner (no roommates!)
  • Went to the Mountain Region for the first time
  • Began commissioning art
  • Attended therapy continually/successfully
  • Started a data analytics certification
  • Got engaged
  • Bought my first place
  • Began planning my wedding
  • Experienced my first snowy winter
  • Landed a job I didn’t think I stood of chance of getting
  • Learned one of my cats WILL eat hoodie strings like spaghetti if left alone
  • Started watching Anime again
  • Reached closure on a long standing friendship

I’m sure there are so many things I’m forgetting, but all in all it’s been a hell of personal year. My biggest goal going forward though is to start posting here again! I’m so tired after work y’all. Getting used to commuting again has taken much longer than I expected. I just come home, shower, and pass out…I’m working on it.

Wishing everyone well and hoping good things are in the works for all of you!

artist: @artoshtu

Saying “Yes” to the Dress

This may not be common knowledge, but I used to watch Say Yes to the Dress quite often back in the day. It honestly might be why I boarded the 90 Day Fiancé train so early on…but back on topic.

After I’d nailed down a good portion of vendors I got the idea to start watching again. Since my partner was lovely enough to get Discovery+ this meant I was able to start from the very beginning.

SIDE NOTE: I 100% recommend this show when you want just a small fix of drama.

By the time I went to my own bridal appointment I’d gotten through the first few seasons and was feeling…calm, I suppose? I knew I didn’t have any family drama or tension commonly seen on the show. If anything my biggest concern was whether or not I’d be able to pick a dress in one ninety-minute session. After all, my mother, future mother-in-law, and future sister-in-law all flew in specifically for this. Did I call in advance to see if we could potentially come again in the same weekend? Yep.

I’d already picked a few dresses online though which helped move us along and then we were off to races!

I will say that while I liked trying on dresses it was very surreal to see myself in one. Since middle school my mother had always told me not to get married (this tune changed when she met my partner) and my father never married. In a way it felt foreign- not to say I didn’t have a good time. It was just…odd. Everyone in my party cried except for me.

In the end I tried maybe eight dresses and ended up picking the third. So yes, I said yes to a dress and it only took one appointment!

SIDE NOTE: Oh, and to clarify- I did not go to Kleinfeld Bridal.

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

Fatherly Shenanigans

Yesterday, my father graciously sent a list of family members with contact information for wedding invitations.

Below is what he sent with that list:

Dear J.J.H.W.,

It was fun while it lasted…we had a good run. Please accept this formal acknowledge as my retirement. I am riding off into the sunset. I will return for ceremonial duties to walk you down the aisle however I will disappear into the night like a ninja after my retirement celebration…I mean your wedding reception. Thank you for your support in finally letting the farsha be a free bird (Caw Caw!)

Retired Farsha

So this has been a running gag between my dad and I since childhood. Ever since we watched Austin Powers in Goldmember he’s been calling himself “the Farsha” and I can’t even tell you when the “free bird” statements came into play. All I can say is, my father always has time to bring dramatics into everything.

Hence, my response to him:

Dear Farsha,

Thank you so much for the list. Unfortunately, the text of your email was corrupted.

First Born

He hasn’t responded yet, so I’m pretty sure I won this round.

Artist: oshtu

One Week

You know those weeks when it feels like all the heavy hitter items are happening at once? Well, this was one of those weeks.

I’ll go in order of what happened.

Firstly, as of last Tuesday…I’m a homeowner! Well- condo owner, but you get the idea. My partner and I were beyond lucky in getting the second place we put an offer on. Especially with the way the market is. I mean, our house hunt only lasted maybe two weeks? Now as someone who LOVES House Hunters (yes, I know how they actually do it and don’t care because I’m here for entertainment) my biggest concern was being “house poor”. When we initially started our search, we budgeted our monthly payment to be about what we pay in rent. When all was said done though, it turned out our payment is actually less!

Next, I am officially halfway done with my course and that much closer to getting certified! My system of completing this course is definitely erratic, but at this point I’ve come to terms with it. By erratic, I mean: spending days where I do nothing except the course followed by periods of not even looking at it. I’m still ahead of schedule though, so it’s A-OK in my book.

Now on to the last heavy hitter…

Today I booked the venue for my wedding next year which means IT. IS. HAPPENING.

SIDE NOTE: I don’t think I ever made a post about it, but my partner proposed to me last month.

Artist: oshtu

***this post’s title is inspired by a What We Do in the Shadows episode***