Tag: perpetual bridesmaid

Saying “Yes” to the Dress

This may not be common knowledge, but I used to watch Say Yes to the Dress quite often back in the day. It honestly might be why I boarded the 90 Day Fiancé train so early on…but back on topic.

After I’d nailed down a good portion of vendors I got the idea to start watching again. Since my partner was lovely enough to get Discovery+ this meant I was able to start from the very beginning.

SIDE NOTE: I 100% recommend this show when you want just a small fix of drama.

By the time I went to my own bridal appointment I’d gotten through the first few seasons and was feeling…calm, I suppose? I knew I didn’t have any family drama or tension commonly seen on the show. If anything my biggest concern was whether or not I’d be able to pick a dress in one ninety-minute session. After all, my mother, future mother-in-law, and future sister-in-law all flew in specifically for this. Did I call in advance to see if we could potentially come again in the same weekend? Yep.

I’d already picked a few dresses online though which helped move us along and then we were off to races!

I will say that while I liked trying on dresses it was very surreal to see myself in one. Since middle school my mother had always told me not to get married (this tune changed when she met my partner) and my father never married. In a way it felt foreign- not to say I didn’t have a good time. It was just…odd. Everyone in my party cried except for me.

In the end I tried maybe eight dresses and ended up picking the third. So yes, I said yes to a dress and it only took one appointment!

SIDE NOTE: Oh, and to clarify- I did not go to Kleinfeld Bridal.

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

Perpetual Bridesmaid

I have a problem where I get overly invested in people (particularly men), then I end up coming on too strong or just messing up in general which leaves me right where I started: a perpetual bridesmaid.

Now ‘Perpetual Bridesmaid’ is a title I’ve sort of given myself lately. When I first started using it, it was a way to make light of my mounting insecurities in the dating realm. My attempt at self-deprecating humor, ladies and gents. I know I already tapped into physical insecurities in a prior post, so I’m going to bypass straight into personality flaws (hooray).

I don’t know if it’s just me, but sometimes I catch myself trying to be ‘perfect’ when I’m with someone. Should I be doing that? Of course, not. It just screams Bad News Bears. Still, I catch myself falling into the habit. I guess the truth is:

I don’t think I can attract a man on anything besides looks and with that in mind it’s easier to just try and mold myself a bit to their preferences… 

YES, I KNOW IT’S BAD. I’M GETTING TO THE BETTER PART. RELAX. 

Anyway, instead of using this title to playfully hide my fears, now it’s not even something I say anymore. It’s simply just a thought. A thought that peps me up and it made the jump in the blink of an eye.

I was commuting home from work and passed at least five adorable couples who looked like they’d been ripped right off the silver screen. I immediately had two lines of thought: 

“Awe, I wish I had something like that…Too bad I’m doomed to be perpetually single…” & “I wonder how many bridesmaids dresses I can collect? 27 is the number to beat.” 

Just like that it felt as if the dark cloud so casually perched above me faded away.

Side note: I’d been starting to feel down because I felt the guy I was beginning to have feelings for had decided I wasn’t worth it anymore.  

With the cloud gone; however, I suddenly didn’t have any negative thoughts weighing on me about my status. Would he decide I’m not worth it? Maybe. Will I never get married? Maybe. Do bridesmaids always have the funniest tag lines in the movies? Yep. 

O.P 22 July 2017