When You Suck at Something You Love

Little known fact about me: I have NO artistic talent.

In fact, I took culinary arts in middle school just to avoid taking an actual art class! That’s how bad I was and still am to this very day.

As a true fan of web comics/anime/manga, I truly wish I’d put the time in to craft some sort of drawing skill…but it just wasn’t my thing which sucked because I had intricate stories building in my head by the time I was 11. It wasn’t until seventh grade that I thought about actually writing them down.

For the rest of seventh grade I did tons of research and prep work- filling at least one notebook full of information on this world I was creating. I didn’t think my writing was strong, so I’d just jot down the main points for my ‘older self’ to write out. In the mean time, I RP’d online to sharpen my writing (I’m actually very impressed with the forethought of 12 year old me).

It was a golden plan, but as time went on I never brought myself to finish even though I never forgot the story.

Now I’m roughly a half a year away from finishing university and still haven’t taken a pen to that damn paper. I still RP, but I don’t have much confidence in my writing and I can feel it fading more and more as time goes on. The friend I RP with is actually a very good writer and it definitely makes me aware of how terrible mine is in comparison. I’ll admit it definitely discouraged me from pursing my personal project for a while, but I think it took me losing practically all confidence before I gave myself a much needed kick in the ass.

From now on I’m going to really put effort into my replies, fine-tune my writing, and maybe even take a gander at the notes 12 year old me left behind…Maybe >_>

O.P 13 December 2017

Cranking it Out: Writing

I don’t know is anyone knows this, but like to roleplay. I currently have about…five going on with I.L. Knight and something amazing has happened: ALL MY REPLIES ARE DONE. That’s right. Who has replies to do? Not me because they’ve been written, posted, and received by my partner in crime. The best part is; I sent it off this morning so now I’m in easy breezy land for at least tonight (because she works the night shift)!

And if you’re thinking: “But what about those personal projects that you’ve only posted one installment on?“, then I regret to inform you that I think we have a bad connection because I didn’t catch that. 

It’s really weird though because now all I can do is wait and there isn’t much I can do to distract myself– except looking at my own stuff of course.

But honestly…what about my stuff?

I mean, I got through all the first installments because I wanted to give myself a base to come back to when I inevitably lost my muse/confidence. I’m very happy with my past self for knowing my future self so well, but…I’m still hesitant. I think I’ve gotten very comfortable in the rp format and the idea of writing something all by myself is a bit daunting, maybe? It’s like: what if I miss something or don’t set something up properly? what if I’m assuming too much? what if my writing is flat without something else to balance off of? what if? what if? what if?  

So many questions and really only two outcomes: either I continue with the projects or I don’t. Do I want to continue the projects? Yes, so I will. 

Since it’s a slow day at work maybe I’ll read through my first installments and see what comes to me because I don’t know about you, but for reason I can really crank it out when I’m at work (after finishing my duties of course)!