One week has passed since my wedding ceremony and I can honestly say…it hits different.
Did I cry? Nope. Neither myself nor my husband cried (likely because we legally wed in July). Interestingly, it wasn’t until I left my mom’s rental the following night that I got misty eyed. Something about leaving my family to head home, knowing they were flying out in the morning…everything suddenly felt cemented. There I was at twenty-six having hit all the old school “milestones of adulthood” and it was a cluster of emotions.
There was certainly joy.
I was happy so many friends and family were able to be part of it with us. I was happy people had a great time. I was happy to be culturally married- if that’s the right way to describe it. I was happy nothing went awry….
At the same time though, I was sad.
Sad in realizing the roots I’d laid down states away from family and friends were now anchored. Sad in the sense I’d closed out a life stage and was now closer to my most imminent fear- death.
Thankfully, my partner was chatting with me on the phone for most of the drive which helped keep it together.
These last several days have been a blur thanks to me going right back to work, but I’m hoping this weekend will get me back on track rest wise.
Photo by My Mother
P.S. If anyone reading this attended the wedding- I want to thank you for coming and I apologize if you experienced altitude sickness!
Prompt: When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
Hm…it would probably be pretty recent.
While my partner and I were enjoying a private hot spring we got to talking and I expressed how now that we are legally married it feels as if I’ve hit all the stereotypical ‘milestones of adulthood’– aside from having children (
neither myself or my partner want any).
It was strange because until that moment I hadn’t consciously considered it.
On one hand it’s nice to think you’ve hit society’s goals whether or not you think they’re relevant. On another hand it served as a reminder of how I’m getting closer to the ultimate milestone- death, albeit in a roundabout process.
In a parallel train of thought it made me reflect on how I’m not really passionate about anything anymore nor do I have extremely close friendships.
Adulthood is a wild one, but the joy of being an adult is I can make changes towards the things I want.
Photo by Cloris Ying on Unsplash
It’s safe to say marriage is considered a major life milestone, right?
Um…yeah? I’d say so. For those who value it, at least.
Sometimes I get anxious. Not in the, “I’m having second thoughts“ way or anything. It’s more, “Getting married is a major life mark and I’m suddenly reminded of my own mortality“…
This is…not the direction I thought we were headed in.
I know, right?
I don’t think it’s out of left field though. I mean, your biggest fear is death and while milestones are traditionally great…
-They also traditionally bring us closer to death.
It can be bittersweet.
In many ways, I think it is.