It can’t be just me: 90 Day Review

Tomorrow morning is my 90 Day Review and when I tell you I am somehow both calm and stressed!

Of my past jobs only one ever performed a 90 Day Review and it was only because I negotiated it in my interview to discuss my salary down the line. In this instance, however, it’s mandated by H.R. and so…here I am in limbo.

Do I think I’ve performed well? Well, the beacon of confidence in my psyche says, “yes” while the workaholic with toxic work-life balance says, “we could have done more”. Then there’s the rational part saying, “you’ve done fine and if not you’ll be told how to improve on Monday”.

Whether these worries stem from imposter syndrome, fear of failing so early in a potential career or not managing to meet expectations- I know I shouldn’t overthink it. As such I’m taking measures this weekend to keep myself occupied…Let’s see how it goes!

artist: @artoshtu

Looking through the Backwards Lens

While chatting the other day, an interesting topic popped up: the lives we wanted for ourselves when we graduated high school/were in university as opposed to now. It got me wondering how I stacked up to what my younger self wanted. Had I met any of those goals? Had any of those goals shifted?

And so, I asked myself some questions:

H.S. Grad/Uni Student

Degree: Economics & Finance

Residence: London or Hong Kong

Housing: Brick Apartment or Brownstone w/ a view

Career: International Business

Marital Status: Single

Was the Goal Met?

Sort of? Solely economics

Nope

Nope. Never made it to brick, unfortunately.

Nope

I mean…in a way?

Current Self’s Goal

Degree: Nope. No Master’s plans

Residence: I’m happy where I am

Housing: Earth-sheltered home w/ a natural pool

Career: Data Analytics

Marital Status: Married

I have to say, the most interesting thing I realized was younger me really only cared about fundamentals. It seems I simply wanted to reach a certain point and that was it…In a way, it’s nice to know I wasn’t hung up on countless details considering how much I liked to plan (and still do).

Photo by Yours Truly

Yackety-Yak: Life Stages

It’s safe to say marriage is considered a major life milestone, right?

Um…yeah? I’d say so. For those who value it, at least.

Right…

Why?

Sometimes I get anxious. Not in the, I’m having second thoughts way or anything. It’s more, Getting married is a major life mark and I’m suddenly reminded of my own mortality

This is…not the direction I thought we were headed in.

I know, right?

I don’t think it’s out of left field though. I mean, your biggest fear is death and while milestones are traditionally great…

-They also traditionally bring us closer to death.

It can be bittersweet.

In many ways, I think it is.

A First: Owning a Place

As of 20 November, 2021 I now live in my very first home!

We started up at 7 a.m. and with the help of some amazing movers, were fully moved and unpacked by 5 p.m.!

This year I have moved about…three times. Four if we’re counting the two weeks we stayed with my mom before moving across country. Knowing I won’t be packing to move anytime in the foreseeable future is such a relief. I really don’t think I could have handled doing it a few more times.

Now that I have my own place I finally understand what I never understood about my mom as a kid: seeing possibilities in a place. Growing up, my mom always had an eye for what she wanted to change in homes and I never really got it. Now- I am fully aboard her train and have brainstormed with my partner on how we would change just about every room.

The one thing my partner was most looking forward to was being able to sleep with the window cracked now that we’re on the top floor. So of course, for the first night we did just that.

Let me tell you something about that.

It went down to 34 degrees Fahrenheit.

I had fleece sheets, a duvet, and two comforters.

This morning I stayed in bed for an extra hour and a half because I was waiting for them to get up and put the heat on.

In the end, they couldn’t get the window to close, so I had to do it.

All in all it was a pretty good laugh and I’m looking forward to making this place our own.

artist: @artoshtu

One Week

You know those weeks when it feels like all the heavy hitter items are happening at once? Well, this was one of those weeks.

I’ll go in order of what happened.

Firstly, as of last Tuesday…I’m a homeowner! Well- condo owner, but you get the idea. My partner and I were beyond lucky in getting the second place we put an offer on. Especially with the way the market is. I mean, our house hunt only lasted maybe two weeks? Now as someone who LOVES House Hunters (yes, I know how they actually do it and don’t care because I’m here for entertainment) my biggest concern was being “house poor”. When we initially started our search, we budgeted our monthly payment to be about what we pay in rent. When all was said done though, it turned out our payment is actually less!

Next, I am officially halfway done with my course and that much closer to getting certified! My system of completing this course is definitely erratic, but at this point I’ve come to terms with it. By erratic, I mean: spending days where I do nothing except the course followed by periods of not even looking at it. I’m still ahead of schedule though, so it’s A-OK in my book.

Now on to the last heavy hitter…

Today I booked the venue for my wedding next year which means IT. IS. HAPPENING.

SIDE NOTE: I don’t think I ever made a post about it, but my partner proposed to me last month.

Artist: oshtu

***this post’s title is inspired by a What We Do in the Shadows episode***

Shifting Relationships with School

It’s strange to think I went from preparing for graduate school to putting it on hold and now I’m taking a certification course. I guess it’s the feeling of “being done with school! hooray!”, only to find yourself in a different version of it…The feeling can be odd, but it does makes sense to me.

I think the catch with secondary education is you’re taking a bunch of core classes with a limited variety of electives that may or may not align with your interests. Then you get to tertiary education (in my case University) where easily half your degree can be a combination of courses you just took in secondary school and courses that aren’t even relevant to your specific degree.

So if/when you do enter the world of specialized courses and certifications, it’s enlightening because you know you’re not having to deal with frivolous extras. No more having to pay for unrelated things. You have a specific interest you want to learn about and BAM! It’s all you’re focused on.

Once I finish my current course I already have a few I’m planning to take next. Some are related to data analytics, but the one I’m most looking forward to is a drawing course! As someone who loves to commission art I’ve always wanted to learn and finally did some digging. The good news is there are tons of talented artists offering courses which made it loads easier.

So here’s to building new and difficult skills!

Artist: oshtu

A First: My Own Place

Sitting in my very first place having my first solo meal…I have to admit it’s kind of surreal.

I’ve had solo meals while living away from home in the past, but I was always in student housing which isn’t exactly ‘being on your own’ if you know what I mean. This time is an entirely different animal though. I’m on a lease, the internet is in my name, I have the numbers of both our landlord and handyman, AND I’m registered with the HOA.

It’s full on adulting time. Out of the nest. And it didn’t hit me until I started reheating my dinner.

My lovely partner’d found reasons to stay every night since the move in, but ultimately had to go, thus leaving me to my first night alone.

I keep looking back to my cat sleeping on a recliner I managed to snag and every time he’s still there- snoozing away. He’s not going anywhere because it’s just us. Even after I finish eating and cleaning he only perks up at the sound of dishes being put away. When I head to bed he trots along, hopping up to take my partner’s side. His head is snuggled against my side as I type with his little snores filling our space.

His first few days were a bit stressful, but he finally seems at ease. So at ease in fact, that he’s gone back to sleeping perpendicular (special thank you to the power of foresight for upgrading to a larger bed).

All in all it’s a new chapter and while it may not be starting in the best of global circumstances…it’s starting all the same and it’s mine.

Artist: oshtu