A Friend in Need

Prompt: Finish this sentence: “My closest friend is…”

My closest friend is someone I’m no longer comfortable relying on, which sucks, but I like to think I’m progressing.

Yackety-Yak: Bad Friendship

Do you think you’re a good friend?

Um…is there something we need to talk about?

What? No. I’m not talking about ‘us’ specifically. I mean in general.

Oh…then I’d say…sixty-forty, maybe?

That low?

I guess? I mean, the way I think about it is: I know I’m in friendships that aren’t healthy and I know I should leave, but I don’t because of whatever reason. I think it’s also something where we all have to accept that there’ll always be times when we’re being the toxic person- even if it’s reactionary because that shows there’s something going on there.

So you think you’re a good friend a little over half the time.

Well, I’m always going to be extremely critical of myself obviously. Plus I know when it comes to certain friends, I’m hypersensitive to my actions and theirs which also isn’t ideal.

Hm…Am I one of those friends?

Ha! No. You aren’t one of them.

Okay, cool. Because for a second I was worried I was being a bad friend.

Do you think you’re a bad friend?

All the time.

Why?

I just feel like I’m constantly negative; a shadow of darkness in the corner, and am only kept around out of obligation. Basically.

And you feel like that for everyone?

Not everyone. Just a few specific people, I guess.

Hmm…maybe we should talk to our people and clarify some stuff.

Like whether we’re actually bad friends or just being insecure?

Aaand how the problem might be coming from more than one side of the friendship…

Oh.

It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. I think sometimes we forget friends can honestly outgrow each other. You might link up in the future…you might not. We carry on.

Yackety Yak: Obsessed

Have you ever been obsessed with someone? 

How are we defining obsessed? 

As in; you’re checking their social media even when you’ve deleted the apps to give yourself a break. 

…How’re you checking their accounts then? 

Safari. 

Oh.

Yeah.

 No I don’t think I’ve ever gone that far. Is this an ex? Or an old rival or something? 

Um…if I had to define it I’d probably say a frenemy?

Like a nemesis. 

Oh, I like that. We love each other, but we have some history. Rivals who are totally obsessed- like socks and sandals.

…Did you just half quote Bob’s Burgers? 

Yep. 

I love it. And the answer is still no.    

Old Friends: same old shit?

It’s wild how you can know someone for years, go through so many ups and downs, not talk for months at a time, and then suddenly one person hits up the other because they haven’t posted on social media in a while and suddenly you’re hanging out until five in the morning.

Was it expected? Definitely not, but that’s life…you know?

I’ll be the first to say I was the reason our friendship fell apart. Hands down it was me and I think mixed with distance/leading our own lives sent us in different directions for a while.

Was it unfortunate? Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely things we’ve missed out on in each others lives which is unfortunate, but I don’t necessarily think it is on the whole because we’ve always managed to link back together.

It’s funny too because this time around I guess it just feels different? I think we’re both in that mentality/stage where the bullshit from years ago just isn’t something we live in anymore. There’s no overthinking. We hang out, have deep conversations, have stupid conversations, and the most important part- we roast the shit out of each other.

In the past month alone I’ve seen them twice (taking that good ol’ three and half hour drive). The first time was the fated “hanging out until 5 a.m.”. This past weekend I introduced them to my boyfriend, brought them over for breakfast with my some relatives they hadn’t seen in years, and face timed with my mom to say hi. It was awesome and by the time we parted ways there were already plans to link up again in a few weeks.

I really don’t know how to explain it…During our 5 a.m. hangout they said something off handily about how I was one of their best friends and it really made me think that: yeah, they’re definitely still one of mine. I just felt refreshed and I think sometimes that’s what we need- that physical presence as opposed to maybe just a screen or even nothing at all.

I guess in the end my true take away is: through the highs and lows it’s all about those who you can still kick back with and watch them not be able to finish a turkey leg at the fair (and then roast them for it).

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash