One week has passed since my wedding ceremony and I can honestly say…it hits different.
Did I cry? Nope. Neither myself nor my husband cried (likely because we legally wed in July). Interestingly, it wasn’t until I left my mom’s rental the following night that I got misty eyed. Something about leaving my family to head home, knowing they were flying out in the morning…everything suddenly felt cemented. There I was at twenty-six having hit all the old school “milestones of adulthood” and it was a cluster of emotions.
There was certainly joy.
I was happy so many friends and family were able to be part of it with us. I was happy people had a great time. I was happy to be culturally married- if that’s the right way to describe it. I was happy nothing went awry….
At the same time though, I was sad.
Sad in realizing the roots I’d laid down states away from family and friends were now anchored. Sad in the sense I’d closed out a life stage and was now closer to my most imminent fear- death.
Thankfully, my partner was chatting with me on the phone for most of the drive which helped keep it together.
These last several days have been a blur thanks to me going right back to work, but I’m hoping this weekend will get me back on track rest wise.
Photo by My Mother
P.S. If anyone reading this attended the wedding- I want to thank you for coming and I apologize if you experienced altitude sickness!
Prompt: In my earliest memories of dancing, I’m under my auntie Nancy’s dining room table, (which had been pushed off to the side of the room), watching my mom, dad, aunties, and uncles all dancing on the hardwood floor to a never-ending stack of 45 records, dropping one after the other. I remember foot-high stacks of 45s all around the record player. The song that I remember playing most? Twistin’ the Night Away by Sam Cooke. Every time I hear that song, I remember auntie’s spontaneous dance parties. What are your earliest and fondest memories of dance?
Ooooh, this one is too easy.
Picture it. My father’s living room. 2000.
Last year’s Carnival plays on the TV with Soca music blasting. I’m in one corner of the room, Trinidadian flag in hand, waiting for my cue to choreography my father only knows after seeing me do it countless times. My cue comes and I immediately fall in step. The song? Dust Dem by Kurt Allen.
To this day, Dust Dem is still one of my favorite Soca songs and will actually play during my Father-Daughter dance. Will my original choreography get a revival..? I can neither confirm nor deny.
As of today I officially relocated from my home state one year ago.
A goal of nearly fourteen years and three hundred sixty-five days ago, I achieved it. Not to study abroad or go on a internship, but without an estimated return date or ticket in hand.
At the time I was so consumed with logistics and saying goodbyes I barely had time to process. I mean, we had less than ninety days from when we received notice of our move to when we needed to step on the plane. I was excited for the next chapter though and jumped right in.
When my mom came to visit in January she said this would be one of my biggest years and looking back…I can’t say I disagree.
In this past year I:
- Moved in with just my partner (no roommates!)
- Went to the Mountain Region for the first time
- Began commissioning art
- Attended therapy continually/successfully
- Started a data analytics certification
- Got engaged
- Bought my first place
- Began planning my wedding
- Experienced my first snowy winter
- Landed a job I didn’t think I stood of chance of getting
- Learned one of my cats WILL eat hoodie strings like spaghetti if left alone
- Started watching Anime again
- Reached closure on a long standing friendship
I’m sure there are so many things I’m forgetting, but all in all it’s been a hell of personal year. My biggest goal going forward though is to start posting here again!
I’m so tired after work y’all. Getting used to commuting again has taken much longer than I expected . I just come home, shower, and pass out…I’m working on it.
Wishing everyone well and hoping good things are in the works for all of you!
Prompt: Imagine we lived in a world that’s all of a sudden devoid of color, but where you’re given the option to have just one object keep its original hue. Which object (and which color) would that be?
My mother’s ring.
To this day I’m still not certain how she came to own or even when she started wearing it, but I’ve been obsessed ever since I first saw it. The ring itself is composed of three metals- yellow gold, rose gold, and I believe copper (
I think). Yellow gold makes up the band and olives, encompassing leaves of rose gold and copper.
I was obsessed with this ring for years and finally just started wearing it leading up to my college graduation. Turns out she was actually planning to give it to me when I graduated only to realize I’d already started wearing it. Needless to say it’s been on my hand ever since.
Of everything I own it’s easily the thing I most hold dear. So if I existed in a world where there was no color…this ring would be the one thing I’d still want to appreciate in its entirety.
Yesterday, my father graciously sent a list of family members with contact information for wedding invitations.
Below is what he sent with that list:
It was fun while it lasted…we had a good run. Please accept this formal acknowledge as my retirement. I am riding off into the sunset. I will return for ceremonial duties to walk you down the aisle however I will disappear into the night like a ninja after my retirement celebration…I mean your wedding reception. Thank you for your support in finally letting the farsha be a free bird (Caw Caw!)
So this has been a running gag between my dad and I since childhood. Ever since we watched Austin Powers in Goldmember he’s been calling himself “the Farsha” and I can’t even tell you when the “free bird” statements came into play. All I can say is, my father always has time to bring dramatics into everything.
Hence, my response to him:
Thank you so much for the list. Unfortunately, the text of your email was corrupted.
He hasn’t responded yet, so I’m pretty sure I won this round.