A Year in the Making

As of today I officially relocated from my home state one year ago.

A goal of nearly fourteen years and three hundred sixty-five days ago, I achieved it. Not to study abroad or go on a internship, but without an estimated return date or ticket in hand.

At the time I was so consumed with logistics and saying goodbyes I barely had time to process. I mean, we had less than ninety days from when we received notice of our move to when we needed to step on the plane. I was excited for the next chapter though and jumped right in.

When my mom came to visit in January she said this would be one of my biggest years and looking back…I can’t say I disagree.

In this past year I:

  • Moved in with just my partner (no roommates!)
  • Went to the Mountain Region for the first time
  • Began commissioning art
  • Attended therapy continually/successfully
  • Started a data analytics certification
  • Got engaged
  • Bought my first place
  • Began planning my wedding
  • Experienced my first snowy winter
  • Landed a job I didn’t think I stood of chance of getting
  • Learned one of my cats WILL eat hoodie strings like spaghetti if left alone
  • Started watching Anime again
  • Reached closure on a long standing friendship

I’m sure there are so many things I’m forgetting, but all in all it’s been a hell of personal year. My biggest goal going forward though is to start posting here again! I’m so tired after work y’all. Getting used to commuting again has taken much longer than I expected. I just come home, shower, and pass out…I’m working on it.

Wishing everyone well and hoping good things are in the works for all of you!

artist: @artoshtu

Local Color

Prompt: Imagine we lived in a world that’s all of a sudden devoid of color, but where you’re given the option to have just one object keep its original hue. Which object (and which color) would that be?

My mother’s ring.

To this day I’m still not certain how she came to own or even when she started wearing it, but I’ve been obsessed ever since I first saw it. The ring itself is composed of three metals- yellow gold, rose gold, and I believe copper (I think). Yellow gold makes up the band and olives, encompassing leaves of rose gold and copper.

I was obsessed with this ring for years and finally just started wearing it leading up to my college graduation. Turns out she was actually planning to give it to me when I graduated only to realize I’d already started wearing it. Needless to say it’s been on my hand ever since.

Of everything I own it’s easily the thing I most hold dear. So if I existed in a world where there was no color…this ring would be the one thing I’d still want to appreciate in its entirety.

artist: @artoshtu

Purrs Against Illness

Does anyone else’s pet hone in on them when they’re under the weather?

In my case, my cat has a four prong system:

i. jumps/climbs into my lap

ii. a gentle head butt

iii. lays down on my chest

iv. purrs

Without fail, he does this a few hours into me feeling unwell and follows up every day until I’m well again. I can’t say if it actually helps, but it definitely makes me feel warm and fuzzy…It’s the little things.

artist: @artoshtu

Quotes that Keep me Going

Peggy Hill: “Luanne, honey, tell me, what is it like to live without shame of any kind? Is it a good feeling?”

Luanne Platter: “Yeah, it is.”

– PEGGY HILL & LUANNE PLATTER. “SQUARE PEG.” KING OF THE HILL, FOX BROADCASTING MEDIA, 17 JANUARY 1997.

Rocky: I just decided, I don’t like you.

Ginger: I just decided, I don’t care.

– ROCKY & GINGER. CHICKEN RUN. DIR. NICK PARK & PETER LORD. DREAMWORKS DISTRIBUTION, 2000. FILM.

“We all complete. Maybe none of us really understand what we’ve lived through, or feel we’ve had enough time.”

– ISHIGURO, KAZUO. (2005). NEVER LET ME GO. LONDON: FABER AND FABER LIMITED.

“It’s difficult to understand the sum of a person’s life… Some people would tell you it’s measured by the ones left behind, some believe it can be measured in faith, some say by love, other folks say life has no meaning at all… Me, I believe you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you…”

– CARTER CHAMBERS. THE BUCKET LIST. DIR. ROB REINER. WARNER BROS, 2008. FILM.

Coach Skip: Basically, there’s three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners, and the player at Whackbat. Center tagger lights a pine cone and chucks it over the basket and the whack-batter tries to hit the cedar stick off the cross rock. Then the twig runners dash back and forth until the pine cone burns out and the umpire calls hotbox. Finally, at the end you count up however many score-downs it adds up to and divide that by nine.

Kristofferson: Got it.

– COACH SKIP & KRISTOFFERSON. FANTASTIC MR. FOX. DIR. WES ANDERSON. TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX, 2009. FILM.

“I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems; ‘cause you’re your problem, and you’re also your solution.”

– MEGAN. BRIDESMAIDS. DIR. PAUL FEIG. UNIVERSAL PICTURES, 2011. FILM.

“I can’t be my friends therapist. Like I love to help, but now you’re exhau- it’s exhausting. You are a vampire. You love to live in this loop, this circle, this sunken place of ‘What do I do?’ and be a victim. It’s just like; put it on a magnet and fucking remind yourself. You know what I mean? It’s just like I-I had to really break up with people or at least put them on peripheral circle of: You know, I feel like we’re having the same conversation every time we talk. You know what to do. You are doing the same thing with a different person and it’s still somehow their fault. So it’s just like; accountability…But I’m just like, I-I can’t…be mad for you all the time. You know? I can’t have your vitamin.”

MICHELLE BUTEAU, GUEST. “LIFE UN-COURAGEMENT (WITH MICHELLE BUTEAU).” UNHAPPY HOUR WITH MATT BELLASSAI, PINEAPPLE STREET MEDIA, 21 MAY 2019.

Ocean Views

As a Florida kid the beach is nothing new to me. My mom loved the beach, so when I was young we went whenever she found the time and in high school plenty of Saturdays were spent hanging on the sand. The thing is though: I’m not a fan of beach. My ex lived for everything related to the sea and I enjoyed the occasional trip, but once we ended so did my need for the beach. Now don’t me wrong; I loved being out in the sun and in the water, but it’s the sand- oh the sand! It’s either burning, getting everywhere, or blowing up in your face (sometimes all in the same 60 seconds!).

Needless to say I haven’t thought much about the beach until a couple weeks ago. You see, the person I was house/pet sitting for lives right near the water so in order to get to and from work I had to drive right down the coast.

Let me just say: there’s something so serene about how the sun glistens off a calm ocean.

Honestly, I think it was the first time I really got an understanding of why some people really enjoy ocean views.

I’m pretty sure my mom’s whole retirement plan centers around having a condo on the beach and even though I don’t share the sentiment in any way whatsoever…I’m going to do everything I can when the time comes to make sure she gets it- and then I can enjoy the coastal drive when I visit!

Photo by Griffin Keller on Unsplash