One week has passed since my wedding ceremony and I can honestly say…it hits different.
Did I cry? Nope. Neither myself nor my husband cried (likely because we legally wed in July). Interestingly, it wasn’t until I left my mom’s rental the following night that I got misty eyed. Something about leaving my family to head home, knowing they were flying out in the morning…everything suddenly felt cemented. There I was at twenty-six having hit all the old school “milestones of adulthood” and it was a cluster of emotions.
There was certainly joy.
I was happy so many friends and family were able to be part of it with us. I was happy people had a great time. I was happy to be culturally married- if that’s the right way to describe it. I was happy nothing went awry….
At the same time though, I was sad.
Sad in realizing the roots I’d laid down states away from family and friends were now anchored. Sad in the sense I’d closed out a life stage and was now closer to my most imminent fear- death.
Thankfully, my partner was chatting with me on the phone for most of the drive which helped keep it together.
These last several days have been a blur thanks to me going right back to work, but I’m hoping this weekend will get me back on track rest wise.
Photo by My Mother
P.S. If anyone reading this attended the wedding- I want to thank you for coming and I apologize if you experienced altitude sickness!
Prompt: When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
Hm…it would probably be pretty recent.
While my partner and I were enjoying a private hot spring we got to talking and I expressed how now that we are legally married it feels as if I’ve hit all the stereotypical ‘milestones of adulthood’– aside from having children (
neither myself or my partner want any).
It was strange because until that moment I hadn’t consciously considered it.
On one hand it’s nice to think you’ve hit society’s goals whether or not you think they’re relevant. On another hand it served as a reminder of how I’m getting closer to the ultimate milestone- death, albeit in a roundabout process.
In a parallel train of thought it made me reflect on how I’m not really passionate about anything anymore nor do I have extremely close friendships.
Adulthood is a wild one, but the joy of being an adult is I can make changes towards the things I want.
Photo by Cloris Ying on Unsplash
While chatting the other day, an interesting topic popped up: the lives we wanted for ourselves when we graduated high school/were in university as opposed to now. It got me wondering how I stacked up to what my younger self wanted. Had I met any of those goals? Had any of those goals shifted?
And so, I asked myself some questions:
H.S. Grad/Uni Student
Degree: Economics & Finance
Residence: London or Hong Kong
Housing: Brick Apartment or Brownstone w/ a view
Career: International Business
Marital Status: Single
Was the Goal Met?
Sort of? Solely economics
Nope. Never made it to brick, unfortunately.
I mean…in a way?
Current Self’s Goal
Degree: Nope. No Master’s plans
Residence: I’m happy where I am
Housing: Earth-sheltered home w/ a natural pool
Career: Data Analytics
Marital Status: Married
I have to say, the most interesting thing I realized was younger me really only cared about fundamentals. It seems I simply wanted to reach a certain point and that was it…In a way, it’s nice to know I wasn’t hung up on countless details considering how much I liked to plan (
and still do).
Photo by Yours Truly
As of today I officially relocated from my home state one year ago.
A goal of nearly fourteen years and three hundred sixty-five days ago, I achieved it. Not to study abroad or go on a internship, but without an estimated return date or ticket in hand.
At the time I was so consumed with logistics and saying goodbyes I barely had time to process. I mean, we had less than ninety days from when we received notice of our move to when we needed to step on the plane. I was excited for the next chapter though and jumped right in.
When my mom came to visit in January she said this would be one of my biggest years and looking back…I can’t say I disagree.
In this past year I:
- Moved in with just my partner (no roommates!)
- Went to the Mountain Region for the first time
- Began commissioning art
- Attended therapy continually/successfully
- Started a data analytics certification
- Got engaged
- Bought my first place
- Began planning my wedding
- Experienced my first snowy winter
- Landed a job I didn’t think I stood of chance of getting
- Learned one of my cats WILL eat hoodie strings like spaghetti if left alone
- Started watching Anime again
- Reached closure on a long standing friendship
I’m sure there are so many things I’m forgetting, but all in all it’s been a hell of personal year. My biggest goal going forward though is to start posting here again!
I’m so tired after work y’all. Getting used to commuting again has taken much longer than I expected . I just come home, shower, and pass out…I’m working on it.
Wishing everyone well and hoping good things are in the works for all of you!
As of 20 November, 2021 I now live in my very first home!
We started up at 7 a.m. and with the help of some amazing movers, were fully moved and unpacked by 5 p.m.!
This year I have moved about…three times. Four if we’re counting the two weeks we stayed with my mom before moving across country. Knowing I won’t be packing to move anytime in the foreseeable future is such a relief. I really don’t think I could have handled doing it a few more times.
Now that I have my own place I finally understand what I never understood about my mom as a kid: seeing possibilities in a place. Growing up, my mom always had an eye for what she wanted to change in homes and I never really got it. Now- I am fully aboard her train and have brainstormed with my partner on how we would change just about every room.
The one thing my partner was most looking forward to was being able to sleep with the window cracked now that we’re on the top floor. So of course, for the first night we did just that.
Let me tell you something about that.
It went down to 34 degrees Fahrenheit.
I had fleece sheets, a duvet, and two comforters.
This morning I stayed in bed for an extra hour and a half because I was waiting for them to get up and put the heat on.
In the end, they couldn’t get the window to close, so I had to do it.
All in all it was a pretty good laugh and I’m looking forward to making this place our own.
You know those weeks when it feels like all the heavy hitter items are happening at once? Well, this was one of those weeks.
I’ll go in order of what happened.
Firstly, as of last Tuesday…I’m a homeowner! Well- condo owner, but you get the idea. My partner and I were beyond lucky in getting the second place we put an offer on. Especially with the way the market is. I mean, our house hunt only lasted maybe two weeks? Now as someone who LOVES House Hunters (
yes, I know how they actually do it and don’t care because I’m here for entertainment) my biggest concern was being “house poor”. When we initially started our search, we budgeted our monthly payment to be about what we pay in rent. When all was said done though, it turned out our payment is actually less!
Next, I am officially halfway done with my course and that much closer to getting certified! My system of completing this course is definitely erratic, but at this point I’ve come to terms with it. By erratic, I mean: spending days where I do nothing except the course followed by periods of not even looking at it. I’m still ahead of schedule though, so it’s A-OK in my book.
Now on to the last heavy hitter…
Today I booked the venue for my wedding next year which means IT. IS. HAPPENING.
SIDE NOTE: I don’t think I ever made a post about it, but my partner proposed to me last month.
***this post’s title is inspired by a What We Do in the Shadows episode***
Sitting in my very first place having my first solo meal…I have to admit it’s kind of surreal.
I’ve had solo meals while living away from home in the past, but I was always in student housing which isn’t exactly ‘being on your own’ if you know what I mean. This time is an entirely different animal though. I’m on a lease, the internet is in my name, I have the numbers of both our landlord and handyman, AND I’m registered with the HOA.
It’s full on adulting time. Out of the nest. And it didn’t hit me until I started reheating my dinner.
My lovely partner’d found reasons to stay every night since the move in, but ultimately had to go, thus leaving me to my first night alone.
I keep looking back to my cat sleeping on a recliner I managed to snag and every time he’s still there- snoozing away. He’s not going anywhere because it’s just us. Even after I finish eating and cleaning he only perks up at the sound of dishes being put away. When I head to bed he trots along, hopping up to take my partner’s side. His head is snuggled against my side as I type with his little snores filling our space.
His first few days were a bit stressful, but he finally seems at ease. So at ease in fact, that he’s gone back to sleeping perpendicular (special thank you to the power of foresight for upgrading to a larger bed).
All in all it’s a new chapter and while it may not be starting in the best of global circumstances…it’s starting all the same and it’s mine.