And…We’re Back!

I know this post is BEYOND late (since I got back from New York City a little over two weeks ago– my bad!), but I said I’d do an update so I’m doing the dang update because accountability is key, folks!

I’ll get this started by being upfront in saying I unfortunately didn’t end up going to any of the bug restaurants…Was it the only thing I said I really wanted to do while in the city? Why yes it was and thanks for remembering. In the end though the timing just didn’t work out with everyone else arriving from out of town and group dinner plans before the party, so it has been shelved for next time.

Side Note: I may or may not be looking into bug restaurants in Chicago for our New Years trip.

Anyway, we did go to Times Square and Central Park which was way different from what I was expecting as someone who’s only ever seen it on the screen.

Let’s start with Times Square which is somehow both smaller and larger than I expected. I’d say it’s smaller in the sense that I always thought it was one slab of concrete encompassing everything with cars only driving on the very edges. Turns out there are multiple intersections/roads running through it which definitely made it feel larger walking-wise.

To be completely transparent though; I wasn’t even fully sure when it actually started, so my perception could be off one hundred percent.

Now as for Central Park…I mean, you know it’s big and then you’re in it and you’re just thinking: Yeah, there’s no way we’re seeing all of this today or even half of this.

This isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy seeing the sites because I did and I would love to go back with a few days to really explore; it’s just that wild feeling when you finally see something in person and get that reality check.

Back to the most important thing though: food.

Let me just say that my partner’s friends really knew what they were doing when it came to feeding us and I was SO appreciative. We went to an amazing Yakitori spot, Hot Pot, HIDDEN FOOD COURT, and random snack spots that were just so spot on. For being there less than 48 hours I still don’t know how we managed to fit in so much eating, but I’m definitely not complaining. I mean, I got to try macaroni and cheese pizza!

I honestly left New York City realizing just how few options there are where I currently live. Do we have good food? Yes, but we hands down don’t have the range or creativity New York City has.

The Halloween party was also the first house party I think I’ve ever truly enjoyed. Everyone really took the costume theme to heart, there was good food (the pizza!), the drink selection was vast (I found out I’m a Yogurt Soju fan!), the drinking games were wild and intense, people who couldn’t make it in person were on video call with the party…

It was a really fun time. My partners friends are awesome. I plan on going back to New York City at some point. I can’t wait to meet the full group next month and I apologize for taking so long to write this because now I’ve forgotten all the names of the food places (once again, my bad!).

Unemployment: The Waiting Game

As of today I have been unemployed for 18 days.

In that time I’ve gone on two interviews; one last Wednesday and another yesterday morning. Ideally, I’ll receive a call back by the end of this week. Cynically, I’ll remain on the grind of job searching.

It’s strange. In the past my jobs always overlapped with exceptions being when I returned from abroad. This time; however, the business simply closed and I’m not sure if it makes sense to say, but: it feels like a bleak right of passage into adulthood.

Obviously, I don’t want to make it seem “rad” as if it’s a box on the ‘adulthood check list‘ or something, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never met an adult who hadn’t been unemployed for an extended period.

Now since my current stint is pretty new/short, I want to instead highlight a conversation had with a friend. Turns out she’d been unemployed for six months, found a job, and was then fired a month and a half into it. She explained how she began to feel useless because she wasn’t ‘contributing to society’ and fell into a depression. Being fired was understandably a huge blow after everything and it had taken a lot for her to get to a good place again. Even with all the self progress though, there was still the looming knowledge of her savings running low and her still being unemployed.

So what do you do in that situation? I’m sure there are countless different answers and thankfully she wasn’t asking for advice.

Listening to her purge frustrations and feelings helped put a lot in perspective for me. Truthfully, there was a small voice in the back of my mind asking: is this where I’m headed in the long run?. But mainly it reinforced the reality of what a fortunate spot I’m in with my current living situation.

Do I feel like a loser because I’m not working? Yes, but I’m luckily in a spot where I can wait for a job of equal or higher value to my last position. So long as I’m doing my due diligence in applying to jobs and going to interviews then I should be content…right?

Side Note: There’s this other voice in my head saying, “if you really need a job then get a lower paying one. get a part time one.” and I’m torn.

Distance

Distance is a crazy thing.

It can be difficult to get used to at first: the gradual separation from someone you were close with. It can disrupt your sense of ease and way of going about your day- suddenly there’s a gap. It can make you insecure as idle thoughts fill the space…

On the other hand, it can be therapeutic: relearning to go on independently. It can help focus your priorities without the influence of someone else. It can make you more productive. It can provide answers to questions you hadn’t even considered. It can bring out changes in your perspective and behavior for the better.

Ultimately, it’s proven to be cathartic for me. It was rough in the beginning, but allowed me to purge things I’d buried so deep I never thought they’d see the light of day again.

Did it suck? Yes. Was it worth it? Yeah, I’d say so.

To feeling better and living better.

O.P. 26 October 2017

It’s Time for a Vacation!

Full disclosure it probably isn’t the best time for a vacation given the recent unemployment situation and all, BUT…I already paid for the flights well in advance and considering it’s only a weekend trip- it won’t interfere with possible interview dates.

Anyway! Now that we’ve covered the responsible adult take; we can now look at the fun stuff. such as the main question: Where am I going? Well, it’s none other than The Big Apple also known as; Empire City, The City That Never Sleeps, The Capital of The World, and…uh…New York City!

It’s going to be my first time (whoop whoop!) and I’m literally flying up tonight for a party tomorrow to then fly back Sunday.

My boyfriend told me we’re going out with friends once we land, so I’m honestly not sure how much of NYC I’m about to see in the daytime, but…I’m really all about the food. In fact, I really want to to go to one of the restaurants that serve bugs (I can thank Adam Conover for that!).

Now let’s get this show on the road because I just got my final paycheck and have an interview on Monday!

Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

Yackety-Yak: Bad Friendship

Do you think you’re a good friend?

Um…is there something we need to talk about?

What? No. I’m not talking about ‘us’ specifically. I mean in general.

Oh…then I’d say…sixty-forty, maybe?

That low?

I guess? I mean, the way I think about it is: I know I’m in friendships that aren’t healthy and I know I should leave, but I don’t because of whatever reason. I think it’s also something where we all have to accept that there’ll always be times when we’re being the toxic person- even if it’s reactionary because that shows there’s something going on there.

So you think you’re a good friend a little over half the time.

Well, I’m always going to be extremely critical of myself obviously. Plus I know when it comes to certain friends, I’m hypersensitive to my actions and theirs which also isn’t ideal.

Hm…Am I one of those friends?

Ha! No. You aren’t one of them.

Okay, cool. Because for a second I was worried I was being a bad friend.

Do you think you’re a bad friend?

All the time.

Why?

I just feel like I’m constantly negative; a shadow of darkness in the corner, and am only kept around out of obligation. Basically.

And you feel like that for everyone?

Not everyone. Just a few specific people, I guess.

Hmm…maybe we should talk to our people and clarify some stuff.

Like whether we’re actually bad friends or just being insecure?

Aaand how the problem might be coming from more than one side of the friendship…

Oh.

It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. I think sometimes we forget friends can honestly outgrow each other. You might link up in the future…you might not. We carry on.