You know when you decide to do something which doesn’t seem all that significant, yet somehow turns into a milestone towards adulthood? Probably not with the vague description I gave.

Let me explain.

A cousin of mine is having a wedding in Virginia on Saturday and in a stroke of luck I managed to finagle things so I won’t start training until Tuesday. Since I haven’t had a chance to visit my family in a long while I thought I’d use the week to stop in the two main cities where they live on the way to Virginia.

Seems like a pretty sweet and grand idea, right?

Well, right now I’m still in the second city and let’s just say I’ve learned quite a bit about myself.

Now the drive to the first city is one I’ve done before and wasn’t particularly fazed by. It was the night I spent in first city that did it thanks to a couple things happening. The first was a call from the guy I’m talking to. Was the call very long or in depth? No. On the contrary, the guy I’m involved with is quite dry, but it was the first time he’s ever called and even though it was a bit awkward…it meant a lot to me (mainly because I’d given up hope it would ever happen). The second thing to happen was a nightmare involving an ex.

You see, a while ago I was in a relationship that went off the rails to say the least. It became emotionally abusive, there were threats, and in the end a bit of a stalking situation. Before things officially ceased; however, he moved to a city not far from the first I was visiting. This was the first time I’d driven to the area on my own and the anxiety seemed to manifest itself in my dreams. All I remember of the dream was hearing his voice…replaying things he’d said in the past…some were even harmless things the guy I’m talking to now also happens to say…Regardless I woke with a bad taste in my mouth.

I’m the type who believes we shouldn’t let another person impact our life in such a way and while I was proud I made the drive fully at ease…to have those negative feelings sneak up in my sleep was a stark reminder of just how much he’d affected me. I even had a moment of doubt towards the current guy I’m talking to when his good morning text was too similar to my ex’s the following day. Thankfully, I moved past that rather quickly.

The drive to the second city was an entirely different beast all together. I’d never done the drive on my own before and in a split second I decided to start the seven-hour drive around 9 p.m. Seven hours on the same road with absolutely nothing going on around me. It was a rough ride. I was falling asleep; my butt hurt…I ended up calling my father to harass him and after the guy I’m talking to finished hanging out with his friends- he even called me too. In the end, I managed to make it without having to stop and take a nap because I don’t even know why. The best part?

I get to make the 8 hour drive to Virginia tonight.  

O.P. 18 August 2017