The other night my partner said I was exhausting.

Oh…was their any context or was it more of a general statement?

Um- I’d be lying if I said this past year I haven’t been teetering, and since we relocated I’ve definitely been leaning on them for support and it eventually came out I’ve been exhausting them the last…couple of months…

Did things come to a head for this to come out?

In a way it was more so the opposite, actually. I’ve started seeing a therapist- albeit sporadically, and my appetite is returning, so my partner felt I was making enough progress to where they could tell me.

So they didn’t want to burden you-

-Even though I was burdening them.

…

They said they didn’t want to, “kick me while I was down”, so to speak.

And how did you take it?

At first I just shut down to keep my emotional reaction in check and just sort of process it all. I was upset that I’d been so wrapped up in my own day to day I hadn’t noticed how I was wearing on them. Then it shifted to being upset they felt they couldn’t tell me sooner and suffered in silence for weeks all because of my behavior.

Right. I get that.

They regretted telling me initially, but I’m glad they did. Now I’m paying more attention and taking the steps to make sure I respect their boundaries.

You seem to be taking this pretty well– all things considered.

Yeah, well- I’ve been on the other side, right? When they were explaining their feelings so much of it was spot on with things I’d said in past. It was…

It’s why it hit you so hard. To be on the other side.

Oh, for sure. I explained how I wanted us to be comfortable bringing these things up going forward so resentment and other things don’t seep their way in.

And they always do.

Exactly.