Quarantine: Looming Productivity

As far as I’ve seen, there are two dominant lines of thought when it comes to quarantine.

There’s the somewhat aggressive: if you aren’t productive and emerge from this with a side hustle, some new skills, and successfully started those plans/dreams you’ve been putting off then the problem has always been you. And then the more lax: you just have to take it day by day; it’s okay not to put pressure on yourself with everything going on so long as you manage to stay afloat.

Of the two I outwardly agree with the latter. I mean, everyone is going to react to quarantine differently and there are so many factors playing into it. There’s the diminished human contact, anxieties over livelihood/health/mortality of yourself and others, etc. It just seems strange in my opinion to put out a mindset telling others how they should manage their “newly found time”. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand this mindset might work for some and more power to them- I simply feel it creates a subtext of pressure almost.

Having said this, initially I was handling quarantine fine- the same way I’m sure plenty of others were. I was still at home, harassing my mom, hanging with my dogs, and binge watching television. My hours were cut, but I was just happy to still have a job.

As time went on; however, I moved out (great timing, I know) and then it really started to sink in.

Now, this isn’t a complaint of having to be cooped up at home with all my amenities or anything like that. I’ll admit working from home with just your cat all day and no one else around is…lonely to say the least, but at least my partner stays on weekends plus I call people…A LOT. On the contrary, this has more to do with that first mindset I mentioned which could easily be just as annoying.

I apologize in advance.

You see, for a long time I’ve wanted to write and on the surface a quarantine seems like the perfect time, am I right? Well I thought so until I realized I have no real muse for anything- and it sucks. I feel like I’m wasting an opportunity to really power through getting some things rolling. Could this also be rooted in insecurities revolving around my writing? Yes and thank you for calling it out, but we shan’t be going into it today.

On one hand I’ve spent my time setting up my new place and taking over my mom’s plants (I’m up to seventeen, guys…help). On the other hand I’m trying not to think about how I’m going to manage expenses with such a cut in hours. On the third hand I’ve discovered the show Portlandia and it’s doing real wonders for me (highly recommend).

I suppose the real trouble is since I’m working from home the option to write is literally always right in front of me (just staring me in the face asking why I’m not doing anything). Truth be told, the only real step I’ve taken so far is to re-signup for Tumblr.

Anyway, this was definitely a weird rant of a post and if you made it this far then hopefully I made some sort of sense.

I hope everyone manages to stay safe, not go too stir crazy and finds something to brighten their days.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash