Distance is a crazy thing.
It can be difficult to get used to at first: the gradual separation from someone you were close with. It can disrupt your sense of ease and way of going about your day- suddenly there’s a gap. It can make you insecure as idle thoughts fill the space…
On the other hand, it can be therapeutic: relearning to go on independently. It can help focus your priorities without the influence of someone else. It can make you more productive. It can provide answers to questions you hadn’t even considered. It can bring out changes in your perspective and behavior for the better.
Ultimately, it’s proven to be cathartic for me. It was rough in the beginning, but allowed me to purge things I’d buried so deep I never thought they’d see the light of day again.
Did it suck? Yes. Was it worth it? Yeah, I’d say so.
To feeling better and living better.
O.P. 26 October 2017
Full disclosure it probably isn’t the best time for a vacation given the recent unemployment situation and all, BUT…I already paid for the flights well in advance and considering it’s only a weekend trip- it won’t interfere with possible interview dates.
Anyway! Now that we’ve covered the responsible adult take; we can now look at the fun stuff. such as the main question: Where am I going? Well, it’s none other than The Big Apple also known as; Empire City, The City That Never Sleeps, The Capital of The World, and…uh…New York City!
It’s going to be my first time (whoop whoop!) and I’m literally flying up tonight for a party tomorrow to then fly back Sunday.
My boyfriend told me we’re going out with friends once we land, so I’m honestly not sure how much of NYC I’m about to see in the daytime, but…I’m really all about the food. In fact, I really want to to go to one of the restaurants that serve bugs (I can thank Adam Conover for that!).
Now let’s get this show on the road because I just got my final paycheck and have an interview on Monday!
Do you think you’re a good friend?
Um…is there something we need to talk about?
What? No. I’m not talking about ‘us’ specifically. I mean in general.
Oh…then I’d say…sixty-forty, maybe?
I guess? I mean, the way I think about it is: I know I’m in friendships that aren’t healthy and I know I should leave, but I don’t because of whatever reason. I think it’s also something where we all have to accept that there’ll always be times when we’re being the toxic person- even if it’s reactionary because that shows there’s something going on there.
So you think you’re a good friend a little over half the time.
Well, I’m always going to be extremely critical of myself obviously. Plus I know when it comes to certain friends, I’m hypersensitive to my actions and theirs which also isn’t ideal.
Hm…Am I one of those friends?
Ha! No. You aren’t one of them.
Okay, cool. Because for a second I was worried I was being a bad friend.
Do you think you’re a bad friend?
All the time.
I just feel like I’m constantly negative; a shadow of darkness in the corner, and am only kept around out of obligation. Basically.
And you feel like that for everyone?
Not everyone. Just a few specific people, I guess.
Hmm…maybe we should talk to our people and clarify some stuff.
Like whether we’re actually bad friends or just being insecure?
Aaand how the problem might be coming from more than one side of the friendship…
It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. I think sometimes we forget friends can honestly outgrow each other. You might link up in the future…you might not. We carry on.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t know myself.
How do you mean?
I don’t know. Some people know every little facet of themselves whereas I feel like…I only know the superficial top layer.
I don’t know if that’s true.
No. I mean, if anything it’s everyone else who usually only knows the superficial stuff because they aren’t you, right? Even if you aren’t thoroughly analyzing every bit of yourself you still know the base and top level.
I’m not saying you’re fully conscious of the base or gray matter in between, but so long as you aren’t being detrimental to others or yourself…do you really need to be studying yourself that hard?
I guess I just wish I was more introspective? For personal growth and stuff?
So go for it. They say the better understanding we have of ourselves; the less apt we are to step into bad situations…or try to put the blame on something else afterwards, at least.
Who says that?
Just thought of it now to be honest.
Just make sure not to get too deep in it.
In introspection? Why?
The problem with being too introspective is that it can lead to a consuming lack of perception and empathy toward others.
Oh…so like; an elevated form of being self absorbed.
Well, guys…it’s happened. After almost a year and a half at my first job post university- my boss called me into his office to inform me he was closing the business.
Honestly, I can’t say I’m surprised.
Working for a start-up comes with certain risks and I was fortunately in a position where I could see the shifts happening in advance. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t already spruced up my resume on job platforms earlier in the same week.
In the end I was second to last to receive the news. As soon he finished the sentence my first thoughts were truly about my coworkers. The sales reps all have families, the specialist lives on his own and had definitely gotten used a used to a certain pay scale…meanwhile I’m still living at home.
This was my first time in a situation like this. Ideally, I would of started making moves at the first blatant red flag and maybe already have a job opportunity lined up which just isn’t the case this time around (20/20 hindsight, am I right?).
Now I don’t want to deter anyone from working at a start up because I really do think it’s worth it for a lot of reasons- especially when you’re fresh on the job scene.
After digging through the posts of my old (
now deleted) blog, I found the original post I made about working at a start up:
Here’s my advice to anyone fresh into the job search process: don’t rule out start ups.
It’s crazy, I know. The whole start up idea seems to be synonymous with ‘entrepreneur’ and while yeah- there’s obviously an entrepreneur involved…that doesn’t mean it has to be you.
Let me explain. I don’t want to bore anyone with an analysis of the pros and cons of a startup versus an established company, so I’ll focus on what I’ve personally learned and experienced:
~You’re new! You have loads of questions and with a general ‘open door policy’ you don’t ever really feel intimidated- even if you’re asking the BOSS BOSS.
~The systems are still being ironed out and since you’re working with them, you can give feedback or suggestions that will actually be taken into account.
~You wear a lot of hats and I mean, A LOT.
Like I said, the systems aren’t set in stone yet, so you’ll probably be taking on a lot which means you’re going to gain just as much experience. Sure- it might not have been the exact thing you went to university for, but it’ll definitely be a nice edge in your next interview.
I was always the type who wanted to work for a big name company or at least one that was fully established for some sense of security, but after being in a startup I’m really not that worried. I already get paid more than I ever have and get a 90 day review for a raise.
Now I know what you’re thinking: What if the company tanks or you get fired?!
Yep. That’s a possibility, but layoffs happen all the time nowadays in established companies and out of nowhere. Besides, if I do find myself back on the job market I’m confident in my newly earned credentials and it pays to be adaptable. So don’t rule it out guys!!!
Strangely, rereading something I wrote so long ago that directly relates to what I’m going through now is…kind of surreal. I mean, I even had the foresight to address if the company tanked!
I’m grateful for everything I learned at the company, all in all; and will be looking forward to what the next chapter brings.
Plus my boss was kind enough to pay us for a full 40 hour week which means I’ll be getting one more full pay check!)