How can you tell if someone actually loves you?
That’s tough…I guess it depends. With some people I don’t think you ever really know. You just have to have faith that they do.
Faith is dangerous.
And so is love.
Have you ever loved someone?
To love and to be in love are different things.
How do you figure?
When you love someone it’s like being on the shallow end of a pool where you know your parameters and it’s easy; in theory, to navigate.
Such as loving a family member or a friend or even a pet. You know where you start and the general rules are mapped out by social context. You may go to the deep end- sometimes abruptly, but you can always go back to the shallow end in most cases…if it’s healthy, at least. But when you’re in love you’re starting in the deep end and usually with no warning. One moment you’re on the edge of the pool and the next you’re completely submerged. The farther in love you fall; the further down you go and the only way out is with that ladder because the shallow end is nowhere in sight. Making your way back to the surface let alone trying to pull yourself out without slipping back under suddenly feels impossible compared to those steps at the shallow end.
…So how do you know when someone’s “submerged” for you?
You can take their word for it, study their actions, and even take other people’s word for it…but that’s about it.
So you’ve been in love.
I don’t know if anyone knows this, but like to roleplay. I currently have about…five going on with I.L. Knight and something amazing has happened: ALL MY REPLIES ARE DONE. That’s right. Who has replies to do? Not me because they’ve been written, posted, and received by my partner in crime. The best part is; I sent it off this morning so now I’m in easy breezy land for at least tonight (
because she works the night shift)!
And if you’re thinking: “But what about those personal projects that you’ve only posted one installment on?“, then I regret to inform you that I think we have a bad connection because I didn’t catch that.
It’s really weird though because now all I can do is wait and there isn’t much I can do to distract myself– except looking at my own stuff of course.
But honestly…what about my stuff?
I mean, I got through all the first installments because I wanted to give myself a base to come back to when I inevitably lost my muse/confidence. I’m very happy with my past self for knowing my future self so well, but…I’m still hesitant. I think I’ve gotten very comfortable in the rp format and the idea of writing something all by myself is a bit daunting, maybe? It’s like: what if I miss something or don’t set something up properly? what if I’m assuming too much? what if my writing is flat without something else to balance off of? what if? what if? what if?
So many questions and really only two outcomes: either I continue with the projects or I don’t. Do I want to continue the projects? Yes, so I will.
Since it’s a slow day at work maybe I’ll read through my first installments and see what comes to me because I don’t know about you, but for reason I can really crank it out when I’m at work (
after finishing my duties of course)!