Birthday Pick Up Lines

Two Fridays ago was the birthday of one of my best friends who shall remain nameless, but for this story we’ll call him…Will. Okay, so Will was turning 22 and wanted a bunch of us to go to a happening gay club about thirty minutes south. Of course we were all pumped to go- especially me since I’d always been working when they went like the workaholic I pretend not to be!

There was some drama that night, but I want to focus on one particular experience: Someone tried to pick me up and his opener was- and i’m not kidding here: “I’d lick your asshole. I’d lick your asshole all day, every day.”

That’s right ladies and gentlemen! That was the OPENER!

He also added in how he would do the same for one of my friends who we shall name Carolyn (I’m a whiz with these name changes if you can’t tell). Will immediately jumped in with how, “We take people on dates and get to know them”. The guy; who’s name I never got, said we were all young and just needed to, “Wrap it and have some fun”. Will was not convinced and bore into the guy about how we have manners and get to know people and properly court them until the guy eventually went away.

Then all was well and we went on with our night…or so I thought.

Maybe two hours later he reappeared when I was sitting at a booth and immediately went back into the, “Let’s wrap it and have some fun”. My response was: “No thank you”, but our man was completely undeterred and went into his life story. I’ll give you the highlights:

-He has a girlfriend of six years named…Dandelion

-They go to church together

– He normally gets off work really late at night, so she drives the car over and sleeps for the last hour waiting for him

-He’s cheated on her before in the bathroom of a club (not the one we were in)

-He feels bad that he cheated, but won’t tell her because it will break her heart

-He knows she will never leave him though


The amount of questions this situation leaves me with are…insurmountable. Who chooses that as their opener? Who’s that confident in themselves? Who’s that honest about their situation and totally fine with it? Where do you find the time to cheat in the bathroom of a club (because our man meant sex, not a make out session)?

Suffice it to say, it was wild and will forever be an ice breaker of mine to tell at future parties.

O.P. 9 December 2017

A Potential Chapter: Graduate School?

As I pass my first month of unemployment my mom has once again started ‘lightly’ hammering the notion of graduate school.

Now as someone who used to plan for the next “chapter” of their life; I had three potential tracks I was floating for after graduation: (a) work for two years then go to grad school (b) work for a year, teach in South Korea for a year, then go to grad school (c) work for a year or two then move to Chicago.

If you remember my posts from a few months back; I actually applied and got accepted to teach in South Korea, but ultimately rescinded my application. I know my mom didn’t agree with the decision because she felt it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I think since then she’s wary that I’ve maybe become complacent and won’t see things through anymore- i.e. applying to graduate school.

When it came to rescinding it really boiled down to me having to do some pesky introspection and accepting I just wasn’t in the right mind set for it. Does that mean I still feel the same way now? Yes and no. Ultimately, I won’t be able to reapply for two semesters anyway due to restrictions, but by then who knows? Spring of 2021 isn’t as far away as it may seem.

But back to graduate school. Because I have concerns.

In the year I’ve been working since graduation I’ve managed to save up enough for my full tuition (with discounts) and around a semester of housing. My initial worry with was that since I’ve been unemployed and haven’t been able to continue saving; I wasn’t sure I’d be able to save the rest. My mom’s response was to remind me she already said she’d help me with housing given how much I’ve managed on my own- I just don’t want to feel like I’m leaching off her. My second issue was deciding whether to choose a one or two year program where the difference is a twelve month internship at the end. Fortunately, tuition for the second year is extremely affordable, but unfortunately that means I’d need to cough up an extra year’s worth of housing funds…My mom’s response was whether I felt it’d be worth it or not.

In the end I came to the conclusion it would be so long as I was able to secure housing because just in case you didn’t know: the school is in “totally affordable” London, England. My mom agreed hands down since so there’d be no way for me to manage without university housing and that same day I started the application process.

Side Note: Applying to this university is so easy breezy and the best part is that it’s FREE. That’s right! No application fees! (sorry I just have a big hang up about application fees)

So, after putting the issue to rest with mom I knew the next step was bringing this up to my boyfriend. Being the great guy he is, he admitted he wouldn’t be happy with it, but would never try to hold me back from something. He explained that instead of using his PTO for cosplay conventions he would instead use it to see me which definitely made my heart warm.

As we continued to talk over dinner another concern surprisingly surfaced which had to do with work load. For the one year program you’re taking five classes both semesters with a thesis due at the end. For the two year program your thesis is due at the end of second year which you spend in an internship. I think if I was only doing school then the one year wouldn’t be an issue, but I know I’m going to have to work and make money to support myself and I don’t want to fuck up such a large investment.

I know. I know. It probably seems like a lot of overthinking on my part.

There’s this idea of “if you want it then you’ll try your best and go for it” with the undercurrent being “you only live once and if you don’t try then you’ll never know” and while I enjoy the sentiment I think there’s also that protectionist mindset in a lot of us where we need to weigh the options and then struggle with the question of “am I holding myself back? am I too scared to take a risk? will I have regrets?“.

A part of me does regret not going to South Korea (especially since I’m currently unemployed), but I’m still doing things I really wanted to do. I mean, I’m going to Chicago for New Years to see if I can hack the winter; I’m going to cosplay as Princess Kida; I’m visiting my family more. I even went to New York for the first time!

So maybe there’s something to be said in accepting the decisions we make and then making the most of it. I’ve made the decision to apply to graduate school. Are there concerns? Yes. Can I boil it down without stressing myself out? Yes: In the one year program my biggest fear would be burnout. In the two year program my biggest fear would be conjuring up the funds.

Now I just need to on that good old personal statement!

Photo by Jordan Encarnacao on Unsplash

And…We’re Back!

I know this post is BEYOND late (since I got back from New York City a little over two weeks ago– my bad!), but I said I’d do an update so I’m doing the dang update because accountability is key, folks!

I’ll get this started by being upfront in saying I unfortunately didn’t end up going to any of the bug restaurants…Was it the only thing I said I really wanted to do while in the city? Why yes it was and thanks for remembering. In the end though the timing just didn’t work out with everyone else arriving from out of town and group dinner plans before the party, so it has been shelved for next time.

Side Note: I may or may not be looking into bug restaurants in Chicago for our New Years trip.

Anyway, we did go to Times Square and Central Park which was way different from what I was expecting as someone who’s only ever seen it on the screen.

Let’s start with Times Square which is somehow both smaller and larger than I expected. I’d say it’s smaller in the sense that I always thought it was one slab of concrete encompassing everything with cars only driving on the very edges. Turns out there are multiple intersections/roads running through it which definitely made it feel larger walking-wise.

To be completely transparent though; I wasn’t even fully sure when it actually started, so my perception could be off one hundred percent.

Now as for Central Park…I mean, you know it’s big and then you’re in it and you’re just thinking: Yeah, there’s no way we’re seeing all of this today or even half of this.

This isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy seeing the sites because I did and I would love to go back with a few days to really explore; it’s just that wild feeling when you finally see something in person and get that reality check.

Back to the most important thing though: food.

Let me just say that my partner’s friends really knew what they were doing when it came to feeding us and I was SO appreciative. We went to an amazing Yakitori spot, Hot Pot, HIDDEN FOOD COURT, and random snack spots that were just so spot on. For being there less than 48 hours I still don’t know how we managed to fit in so much eating, but I’m definitely not complaining. I mean, I got to try macaroni and cheese pizza!

I honestly left New York City realizing just how few options there are where I currently live. Do we have good food? Yes, but we hands down don’t have the range or creativity New York City has.

The Halloween party was also the first house party I think I’ve ever truly enjoyed. Everyone really took the costume theme to heart, there was good food (the pizza!), the drink selection was vast (I found out I’m a Yogurt Soju fan!), the drinking games were wild and intense, people who couldn’t make it in person were on video call with the party…

It was a really fun time. My partners friends are awesome. I plan on going back to New York City at some point. I can’t wait to meet the full group next month and I apologize for taking so long to write this because now I’ve forgotten all the names of the food places (once again, my bad!).

Unemployment: The Waiting Game

As of today I have been unemployed for 18 days.

In that time I’ve gone on two interviews; one last Wednesday and another yesterday morning. Ideally, I’ll receive a call back by the end of this week. Cynically, I’ll remain on the grind of job searching.

It’s strange. In the past my jobs always overlapped with exceptions being when I returned from abroad. This time; however, the business simply closed and I’m not sure if it makes sense to say, but: it feels like a bleak right of passage into adulthood.

Obviously, I don’t want to make it seem “rad” as if it’s a box on the ‘adulthood check list‘ or something, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never met an adult who hadn’t been unemployed for an extended period.

Now since my current stint is pretty new/short, I want to instead highlight a conversation had with a friend. Turns out she’d been unemployed for six months, found a job, and was then fired a month and a half into it. She explained how she began to feel useless because she wasn’t ‘contributing to society’ and fell into a depression. Being fired was understandably a huge blow after everything and it had taken a lot for her to get to a good place again. Even with all the self progress though, there was still the looming knowledge of her savings running low and her still being unemployed.

So what do you do in that situation? I’m sure there are countless different answers and thankfully she wasn’t asking for advice.

Listening to her purge frustrations and feelings helped put a lot in perspective for me. Truthfully, there was a small voice in the back of my mind asking: is this where I’m headed in the long run?. But mainly it reinforced the reality of what a fortunate spot I’m in with my current living situation.

Do I feel like a loser because I’m not working? Yes, but I’m luckily in a spot where I can wait for a job of equal or higher value to my last position. So long as I’m doing my due diligence in applying to jobs and going to interviews then I should be content…right?

Side Note: There’s this other voice in my head saying, “if you really need a job then get a lower paying one. get a part time one.” and I’m torn.

Distance

Distance is a crazy thing.

It can be difficult to get used to at first: the gradual separation from someone you were close with. It can disrupt your sense of ease and way of going about your day- suddenly there’s a gap. It can make you insecure as idle thoughts fill the space…

On the other hand, it can be therapeutic: relearning to go on independently. It can help focus your priorities without the influence of someone else. It can make you more productive. It can provide answers to questions you hadn’t even considered. It can bring out changes in your perspective and behavior for the better.

Ultimately, it’s proven to be cathartic for me. It was rough in the beginning, but allowed me to purge things I’d buried so deep I never thought they’d see the light of day again.

Did it suck? Yes. Was it worth it? Yeah, I’d say so.

To feeling better and living better.

O.P. 26 October 2017

It’s Time for a Vacation!

Full disclosure it probably isn’t the best time for a vacation given the recent unemployment situation and all, BUT…I already paid for the flights well in advance and considering it’s only a weekend trip- it won’t interfere with possible interview dates.

Anyway! Now that we’ve covered the responsible adult take; we can now look at the fun stuff. such as the main question: Where am I going? Well, it’s none other than The Big Apple also known as; Empire City, The City That Never Sleeps, The Capital of The World, and…uh…New York City!

It’s going to be my first time (whoop whoop!) and I’m literally flying up tonight for a party tomorrow to then fly back Sunday.

My boyfriend told me we’re going out with friends once we land, so I’m honestly not sure how much of NYC I’m about to see in the daytime, but…I’m really all about the food. In fact, I really want to to go to one of the restaurants that serve bugs (I can thank Adam Conover for that!).

Now let’s get this show on the road because I just got my final paycheck and have an interview on Monday!

Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash